What it takes to be a Telugu girl in Chennai?

I come from a Telugu speaking background with ancestors who settled in the Tamil Nadu more than two generations ago. I could speak both the languages - Telugu* and Tamil* fluently any day. 

*Tamil - Native Language of the South Indian State Tamil Nadu

*Telugu - Native Language of the South Indian States - Andhra Pradesh and Telangana

During my school days I was only proud to have known an additional language [Telugu] and was surprised that a couple of my friends knew the language too ! I wasn’t sure why the rest didn’t know the language and was curious to know. When I enquired mom she explained that the two states [now three] were once together and during the separation we were the ones who chose to settle down here for various reasons like occupation and convenience. 

One random day at school, I was ‘bullied’ with a new word ‘Golti’ and I was clueless about what they even meant by that. A friend came to my rescue and handled the guys who bullied me ! I asked her what did ‘Golti’ mean and why do they call me that? She explained that that was the term they used to address Telugu speaking people here in Chennai. Initially as a young school going girl, I couldn't take it when my class mates differentiated me because of my mother tongue. They weren't very serious and most of us were innocent then. I had to understand that the word only sounded funny to them and made them laugh. I heard it so often that I got used it and learned to ignore it. This didn't stop me from revealing my mother tongue. For I was still proud, only to have known an additional language. 

It was only during my college days I saw the actual rivals. It was a Telugu Minority College with 50% Tamils and 50% Telugus (if I can call it that way) roughly and I was stuck in-between. The two groups stayed separate mostly and even in the way they were seated ! The ‘in-between’ candidates like me were the minority, just one or two in a class room and we had to choose between one of these groups !! Trying to balance both was my biggest challenge. I think I did it fairly well. 

When my bus mates were Tamils, they though how high-headed and dumb were these Telugus and my bench mates enquired why these Tamil’s dressing sense was so pathetic and why they hardly took money out of their pockets ! It was annoying answering such stereotypical questions from both the sides. I only saw them being self-forcefully blind !! 

The stereotypes were only growing and my explanations only convinced myself ! These two groups were nothing but ‘like’ poles of a magnet. They looked like they would fit in but beyond a point they repelled. The differentiation continued even at work but by then I got used to it and knew how to deal with it. I just laugh away.

I have to mention that I had a good amount of open minded friends too. The friendship was more selflessly social than linguistic - how it is supposed to be. I am always fortunate and glad to have earned them. 

As much as I am a proud Telugu girl, I am a proud Chennaite too ! We celebrate both Ugadi and Tamil New Year with the same amount of enthusiasm. [Jan 1 isn’t an exception too ;) ] Pongal and Sankranthi mean the same to us. Our weddings are a mix of customs, from both Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh ! We have evolved this way and we are happy living it this way. 

You call me a ‘Golti’ .. You call me a ‘Madarasi’ .. You will only see me smiling. Yes, I am a proud blend of both. 

Happy Ugadi & Happy Tamil New Year 

Bengaluru Molestation - Blame the girls for we are so used to it !

Sexual abuse and being molested isn't new to any woman ! Every women I know have stories of being molested by a stranger, uncle, teacher, security guards and drivers. The only qualification you need to do so is to be a man craving to feel a woman !! Shameful !! 

Not that we got used to it over time but we learnt how to deal with it. A few of us got only brave enough to fight back, a few still shying away to even discuss about it and a few just got locked up inside the house in the name of safety !!

It is shocking how a brainless bunch could try to blame the girl who was molested. 

What was the girl doing on the roads at 2.40 AM? 

What was she wearing then? 

To all those self-protective perverts how many more real-life examples should we quote you?

When a 65 year old lady was raped, what was she wearing?

When a 3 year old kid was raped, how provoking were her clothes?

The first time I was molested I would have been just 5-6 yrs old and the "pallu pona watchman kelavan" [toothless old man] would have been in his mid 60s !!

Still you want to blame us?

It is easy to pass the blame on a woman as you have been doing it all this while and you weren't questioned at all. Now, it has become an easy practise. 

Being a mother of a 6 year old girl child such incidents doesn't fear me a bit. Having been a victim myself, not just once but many a times, I have only evolved stronger.

The first time I was too young to even understand what was happening.

The second time I complained to my mom.

The third time I decided to face it myself.

The last time I made the guy run for his life !!

Through all such incidents I only see a future where girls are much stronger both mentally and physically, that there will be a time where such mindless perverts would never dare to molest any girl even at odd lonely hours !

I have always felt and still feel that self-defence is as important as education to any girl and such incidents only re-emphasize the need for it.

A note to all such secretive morons who are hiding among the everyday crowd - I warn you !! Pepper sprays will soon be replaced by hard powerful kicks - you know where. You better keep your pants zipped up or your parts might get misplaced.

Hello society, you can still blame us and we are all used to it now :)

My dad is my hero. So what is my mom?

Yeah, I totally adored my dad for he was so perfect. He was like a leader, so commanding and authoritative, so punctual and perfect in everything he did. For me then a ‘hero’ was majorly the way a 'man' was portrayed in movies and my dad played the role really well. He was brave, he was earning well, his word was law and I knew he had the guts and physical strength to beat down the bad guys who troubled his daughters! During my college days, he took the decision for us (me and my sister) and we just followed him without any doubts. He wasn't very friendly or approachable most of the time but that didn’t bother us much. We were happy that he cared for us so much that he always gave us the best. Not to mention we sisters had an amazing childhood. 

So what was the heroin doing then?

Dancing around the trees? No, she was dancing to other’s tunes.

Mom was a bank employee. She joined and retired as a clerk so nothing amazed us compared to our dad who joined as a Project Engineer and retired as an Director of the same organisation. Mom never had much say at home and she was either cooking or running around for the laundry, groceries and veggies. We ‘used’ her to seek permission from dad for school and college tours, to sign report cards and when we weren’t sure if dad’s mood was ok for us to go and chat with him. Yes, dad was like a school principal and mom was like the class leader :)

My mom who excelled in her studies became a banker, a profession she loved. Soon after her marriage, she had to support her in-laws as a bunch forgetting/ disowning her parents, brothers and sisters, who according to the Indian custom become outsiders overnight. Again the society demanded her to prove that she is a woman only if she can bear kids (Note - one wouldn’t be enough, you have to prove twice) She almost died when she delivered my sister who was an obese child. Who cared ! She did her duty as an Indian wife and Indian daughter-in-law. Soon after she recovered she had to rush back to work. I still remember my sister being a very clingy child. Once when she was left at a day care, she was holding the gate crying all day refusing to go inside. When we went to pick her up in the evening she was sleeping holding the gate railing !! The in-laws bunch whom my mom strived to support were nowhere around then for help. Most of the days when mom left for work her eyes were moist and I would hold my sister tight along with an ‘aayah’ to stop her and let my mom go to work. My mom wasn’t my hero then.

When we grew up, mom’s responsibilities grew too. She had added responsibility of taking care of our exam scores. If we scored less, she was questioned. Dad was a workaholic and he was busy building his career. Of course we as a family benefited too but my mom who wanted to join civil services had to let her dreams go, only to bring us up. She sacrificed her dreams and career for us and most Indian mothers were obliged to do it. My mom wasn’t my hero then.

Very little did we understand her struggles then that we complained for serving only hot steaming ‘idlis’ for break fast everyday, when she hardly had time to cook for us. Most of the days she was late to work and we neither offered her a helping hand nor bothered that she was late to work. We just ignored her problems. She gave us freedom to explore things on our own, she encouraged us to try different hobbies, supported and stood by us irrespective of our mistakes. She was like a friend to us that we were comfortable sharing everything with her. My mom wasn’t my hero then.

What changed after my marriage?

My dad was still my hero and I was sure no guy could take that place ever in my life. Surprisingly a couple of years after I was married, the life I had dreamt of [In brief - a happily ever after story] was totally different from what I was facing. I understood life really late. 

When I was married and stepped into a new family which wasn’t as crowded as what my mom had to face I still felt extremely uncomfortable. My place was just an hours drive from my mom's place and still I felt lonely. Now my place becomes my mom's place and some stranger's place becomes mine !! Everything was different and difficult. Adapting myself to the new place, people, habits and just everything made me feel I am losing myself. I had this responsibility of getting up early, try new dishes in the kitchen to please my mother-in-law, look fresh and good most of the time and all these were too much for me to handle and I only yelled at mom for not preparing me for this. She would just smile and ignore. I too had to ‘prove’ the society that I can bear a child and the pressure was bothering me too much. Though I was not at all prepared I had to do what was expected from me as a newly married Indian woman. I was only crying when my test results read ‘positive’ and everyone around me were celebrating. 

The truth sinked in and my life wasn’t only about me anymore. I couldn’t give up my career for my 3 months old daughter, I complained. Work-Life balance was the toughest test I had to undergo. I stood small near my mom for the first time ! I understood that my mom was the one holding us all together as a family, she was running around to accomplish her goals and ours too. She shouldered the responsibility of all the family members, including dad. She had to play multiple roles but she never complained.

I have never seen her crying or very worried. When she had to be tough she stood strong like a rock all alone !! She never sought any help or support. She just gave her best, ignoring what life gave her in return. She was really bold. Embarrassments and humiliations didn’t stop her at all. I knew she wouldn’t beat up the bad guys who came our way but she taught us to identify the bad guys and stay away. 

In the wide spread land full of huge rough rocks like the society full of male chauvinism and gender stereotypes, she made her hold on the ground strong like the small tiny stones that gets buried inside the soil. She didn’t get lost but made her hold really strong.

My mom isn’t my hero even now. My dad is still my hero but my mom is a warrior ! I didn’t want to be a hero anymore, I wanted to be a warrior. 

Cyclone Vardah - Hits Harder !!

Chennai during the month of December seems to be a night mare ! Consecutively for the second time Chennai has faced yet another natural calamity - Cyclone Vardah, followed by the floods in Chennai last December (2015). 

Having faced the floods previously and predicting the cyclone well in advance the city was ready with all precautionary measures. People were warned not to leave homes, schools and colleges declared holiday and even office goers were advised to work from home ! Weather reports scared us as the winds would lash at a speed of 100 km/hr and it was sure that we will lose power, mobile signals by then.

Dec 12, 2016 - Around 11 AM the winds were blowing unusually bringing some moderate rains. We tried our best to capture these just from our balcony and terrace but the winds were so strong that we couldn’t stand still. I was literally shivering due to the chilling winds that I ran inside my house and shut the door. Around 1.30 PM is when the cyclone was expected to touch the peak - 100 km/hr speed and it did ! The howling sound was even more scary and the winds were pushing down all the trees outside. Our’s neighbour’s tree uprooted and fell on their car shed, crashing their Honda City flat. The corporation help lines weren't reachable and while we were still trying to reach for help we lose our signals completely. Nothing could be done by then and they were locked inside their house. No power, no water and no mobile network - we totally lost connection with the outside world. As it gets darker as early as 5.30 PM, the winds slowed down a bit but the rains didn't stop. It was pitch dark outside and we had nothing to do and couldn’t move out of the house yet. We just managed with our fully charged phones and laptops for light. The water stored would help us till morning, so I went to bed expecting the power to be back soon.

Dec 13,2016 - I got up a bit early and rushed out only to see a totally devastated neighbourhood !! We live in a gated community (a micro city in itself) that is green - full of trees and plants. Almost 50% of the trees were uprooted and 25% of the people’s car shed was crashed under a tree. I took a stroll all the way and another neighbour had lost a car too that got stuck under a huge tree ! All of a sudden it looked like there was too much of light coming in and yes all these trees on the ground exposed us to a painfully sunny morning. At about 7.30 AM, people got working in cutting down the trees and paving way for those who were stuck inside their homes. Power and phone signals haven’t been resumed yet. We decided to go out and see the condition outside our community. People with generators and power back ups were updating us on how the city was hit with the cyclone. The newspapers shared few scary pictures too - a huge bus that toppled during the winds, a car that was parked toppled over the road barricade, a couple of people who just escaped from a falling tree ! I was looking all over the papers with crossed fingers to not see any death count. Unfortunately, it reported a death count of 3 already !! It also read that the power will be resumed by evening. We reached the main road around 11 AM, our phone signals were fluctuating. I tried calling the close family and friends to check if they were all fine. A few of them still weren’t reachable. The power wasn’t back yet and the signals too !

Dec 14, 2016 - It was the second day after the cyclone and situation remains the same. Schools haven’t reopened yet and we are still worried about water supply. ATMs and the card swiping machines aren’t working anywhere. Sadly, this demonitisation have restricted the cash flow big time and the cash in hand would only last another day !!

Our house help turns up today and her story is even more saddening. Her 18 yr old nephew who is physically challenged had to be carried and shifted in the heavy winds to her house as the boy’s house was filled with rain water. She said their roof flew away due to the lashing winds. She sounded totally help less saying it hasn’t been even an year since they fixed the damage caused by the floods. I asked if she would need some cash and I could see a sigh of relief on her face. Only then I remembered I don’t have much cash in hand. I apologised to her shamelessly.

Dec 15, 2016 - We are getting water supply for few hrs in the morning every day and we rush to finish our work by then. Power and phone signals are yet to resume. We again drove till the main road to see the condition of the city. The cut down trees were still lying on the pavements and are yet to be cleared. People have started going to work though. We parked our cars wherever we got signals and called our family and friends and shared the status. 

• Intermittent electricity was supplied only to a (main) part of the city, when the news said 50% of the city got the power back. 
• News read that the city is all set for the usual routine and the schools will reopen today. I found it totally stupid as all the 4 schools in and around my house still remains closed. The trees are yet to be cleared and power yet to be resumed ! The schools were seeking volunteers to deal with all that. When I checked with friends in other parts of the city, they shared the same grief.

For once I felt that news channels and the government are blind.

The city has never taken so much time to recover, in spite of all rescue teams who arrived well in advance. Last year it was really quick ! 

The lost greenery has to be replaced. The corporation workers and volunteers who worked day and night to clear the roads have to be recognised. We, shouldering a bit more of responsibilities and promising a better ecosystem to the next gen, have a long way to go !!

What a little girl taught me?

We often learn lessons from other's life but what this little girl taught me are lessons for life !


Let me share a little about her here,

This little girl was the second child in the family, after her elder brother. Her dad passed away when she was just 2 yrs old. She didn't have the luxury to live with her mom too, who relocated looking for jobs to support her family. 

A childhood without my parents is something I could never imagine ! I couldn't have started my life with such a challenge.

She taught me to be independent. She taught me that one can be independent even at a very young age.  

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This little girl was really smart and witty that she scored good ranks in her school and was the class topper. She was an all rounder, that she excelled in sports, arts and studies as well. When she finished her schooling she was given the 'Best Outgoing Student' award !!

She taught me "Irrespective of what life gives you, you should give your best".

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This little girl who passed out of the girls high school with scholarships to achieve her dream of becoming a lawyer, remained to be just a dream ! She had to choose a career suggested by her mom to help the financial crisis in the family. 

At the age of 16, all I was worried about was my home work, how to convince my dad and get a bicycle and probably about the guy whom I had a crush on !

She taught me to be prepared and face the unexpected with a broad smile.

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This little girl was pushed to deal with a patriarchal society at a very young age. She fought, she gave her best and she did succeed. She became famous at a very young age.

She taught me to deal with life boldly. She taught me that it is sometimes ok to let go your passion and you can still shine like a star if you work really hard.

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This little girl's mom passed away when she was 22. With no support, at a very young age she fought all the odds in life. She fell in love with her colleague(if I can say that way) but she couldn't build a legally acceptable relationship with him. The only way she could be with her man is by following the career path he chose. Later in her life she admits that her personal life was a failure and probably if her mom was around, it could have been better. She says though she didn't have a 'perfect' personal life, she would be a mother some day.

She taught me it is ok to be a failure. She taught me that you need lots of guts to accept your failures in life ! She taught me not to get stuck with your failures but to move on and explore what the world has got for you !!

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The career path she chose wasn't again easy for a women. She didn't budge. She pushed herself to play the game where she knew she was all alone. Her man dies when she was still in her 30s !! She didn't give up the career. She was not accepted by the men around her, she was humiliated and that didn't stop her. She challenged those, that she would come back as a boss.

She taught me that personal loss and humiliations shouldn't put you down. She taught me to be brave, take an oath and put them to shame who humiliate you.  

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She returned as the boss ! Success and failure didn't bother her much anymore. Even in her 40s and 50s, life had a lot of surprises for her. She faced everything with a charm and tackled all the challenges with absolutely no one's support. She put all men under her feet, who once humiliated her. She fought patriarchy like a feminist. 

She taught me to surprise life, when life tries to shock you. She taught me to fight harder. She taught me to face all challenges in life even after I attain success. She taught me to be a boss always.

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During her final years, she stood tall and strong, not physically but as a leader, a woman leader ! She shocks the world with her demise all of a sudden ! What she couldn't see is millions of people who cried for her. She didn't have true friends, a good family, parents, spouse or even children. She stood all alone, only until her death ! She dies as a mother.  

She is the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu, Dr.J. Jayalalithaa.

She taught me to be bold.
She taught me to be fear less.

She taught me to be a true leader. 

Chennai Floods - December 2015

December 4, 2016

December is a very important month in my calendar for various reasons..

1.Usually, It is something that marks the completion of one successful year 

Well, that means a lot ! We would have fought a battle, would have had many memorable moments, met new people, made new friends, achieved something new and all those memories rush into my mind by December. Also this is the time of the year I set new goals for the upcoming year. I step in to the new year with a lot of positivity, hopes and dreams.

2. Two important occasions in the family - my dad's birthday and my wedding anniversary comes up in the first week of December. I never fail to celebrate the presence of both the men in my life.

3. Chennai Floods !

Last year the same time, my city Chennai was flooded. It was a huge natural disaster the city had ever faced. 

From my narrowed view, we lost power for more than 24 hrs and the telephone landlines didn't work too. We had arranged for a huge family gathering as it was Dad's 60th Birthday and we only managed to do 10% of what we planned. The photographers didn't turn up ! Only very few of the family and friends were there and another 10% reached by evening. We had to cancel the hotel party hall reservations and call each and every single person (whenever we got signals) and inform about the cancellations. I was terribly upset as I had high hopes and plans to surprise my parents on this occasion. All flights were cancelled and my sister had to stay back in the country for two more weeks. 

When the reality hit ! 

Slowly, one after the other, friends and relatives called us back to tell us why they couldn't make it. Power resumed after 2 full days and the news channels were telecasting the devastated city, Chennai ! I couldn't recognise even my neighbourhood. My personal loss was nothing when compared to what the city was going through at that moment. We were are all dumbstruck and were totally lost looking at the pathetic condition of the city.

Not very late (the very next day), people started giving out helping hands. It just started with 2-3 people and the network grew really huge within few hours. I was getting calls from people seeking food and people who were making food in bulk for the needy. When all the roads were blocked and the only way you possibly reach even the next street is by walk, these guys were picking up the bare necessities like food, water, clothing and walked in the gutter to deliver it wherever possible. 

These real life heroes include my friends, acquaintances turned friends (after the floods), school mates (whom I even failed to recognise), college mates (in the neighbouring states) and total strangers. Every single person dedicated their time and effort selflessly to help the people. Never in my life I had felt so comfortable talking to strangers around me. All I could see in their eyes were sorrow, compassion and undying spirit to gear up the city.

Some memories that I would like to register here 

• A little girl bitten by some poisonous insect was rescued to the nearby hospital on time by a total stranger and she was saved from death ! All this while this was the kind of story I watched only in the movies !
• A small scale businessman (volunteer) developed severe skin disease that spread all over his body, while rescuing a to-be mother at Madhuravoyal. She was stuck in her home as the roads were filled with shoulder-level dirty water. The mother and the new-born were safe at the hospital while this young chap is still dealing with the skin allergy, even after an year !!
• A young cop at Amjikarai signal was guiding and helping female volunteers who were struggling to manage huge crowd fighting for the the food supplies. He made sure he either accompanied us to the crowded places or redirected us to the less crowded places which was much safer for the volunteers. We were glad we met a good cop in real life unlike the ones the Indian movies have majorly portrayed so far.
• There were no rich-poor difference for once! Everyone joined hands selflessly to save lives, to feed hungry souls and help the victims in all ways possible.
• Men and young guys without a bit of hesitation were distributing sanitary napkins, women's inner wear to all those who lost their homes and were stranded on the streets.
• Random people (I still don't know how they got my contact number) even from Hyderabad and Bangalore were willing to transfer funds to my account to help the needy !! While I am still shocked at their gesture they apologised for not being able to be physically present at the flooded areas and help us.
• Last but not the least, the city saw more volunteers than victims history has ever seen !!

Little did I mention here as the post is getting really lengthy. Even after one year, I am still in awe ! 

The below words made my watsapp status then ;)

"Humanity Does Exist"   

♥ Aarthi ♥

'Pouring Emotions' Day ! Beware !!

I was supposed to write about my trip to Singapore like 6 months ago and I remembered all about it only when I landed here to write about something else ! I am glad I am here at least once a year but feel terribly bad for my long lost passion ?!!! So now what should I write about - What I feel exactly at the moment? or What I actually wanted to register here ??? I make life sound so confusing, Isn't it? Well, why can't I talk about both, they are kind of inter related ! Might be I will make it more brief this time. Let's see at the end of this post... ;)

What I actually wanted to register here?

When you go through a good book or a novel and if you have that love for writing still left in you, you will definitely end up writing something. Be it like a blog post or just in your diary or wherever you used to do it. So I was going through one such book by Chetan Bhagat, a book that I touched after months and finished it in just 2 days and thus I am here craving to write something that I will/might enjoy reading later! 

Should I call myself lazy or too busy to make myself do what I love. [Daughter cries in the middle of her A.N nap and lays her head on my lap limiting the usage of my left hand !] I wanted that external push in some means to revive my love for writing. I still remember or I am reminding myself that I wanted write a book [at least one] in this life time !!! Well, it is not an easy joke !! When I have so many excuses to write a post here, I might as well have truck load reasons to not write a book. When the passion is still there, the idea is still there and the gut still says it, I think I will do it someday :) 

For now, Thank You Chetan Bhagat for the push :)

What I feel exactly at the moment?

Disgusted. Angry. Irritated.

Choose the apt word once you finish reading this post. 

I hate coming up with excuses, be it whatever. When I don't find time for my passion then I think I have no rights to call it my 'passion' anymore. Probably it should be renamed as 'hobby' but when I give it any other name like that, it hurts !!!  

How I miss this space.. I would have told that a million times here already and I would never stop saying that. The truth is I come here only on those rare days when I am done with all the work I have !!!!!! Why do I do it? Why isn't this -> my passion -> writing is as important to me as my other duties or other things I do on a daily basis? I have no answer but I feel bad for not being able to write - it might be just anything, a little joke I read, something that is happening in the neighbourhood, a little about my daughter, makeup, shopping, girlstalk, just anything... but I just don't come here anymore !!! 

So I feel ..........

♥ Aarthi ♥

Planning a Trip Is Definitely Fun !

My sister and my best friend are experts in planning a trip and I always thought it is a more challenging job than what cooking was to me 5 yrs back ! It has been a while since we made an International trip and as the little one is now almost 4, we thought a trip to Singapore would entertain her. Hubby gave the responsibility to me to decide on everything regarding the trip right from hotels, flights and even places to visit. However he set an budget for the trip and I had to fit everything in the budget ! 

Having no previous experience of planning a trip myself, I was totally blank. I had approached a couple of travel agents to send me a quote and most of them failed. Few of them couldn't get a 4 star accomodation for my budget and the rest sent a standard format they already had [Singapore 4 Days 3 Nights Package or Singapore + Malaysia Package] with them without even going through my requirements. Those mails directly went to the trash. 

I googled, googled and googled and had a list of places in mind and wanted the trip to be for 7 days when the rest of the travel agents just skipped most of the places and added places of their own interest like museum, temple, etc ! These mails went to trash too. It was shocking how lazy or reluctant these travel agents were. So I decided to go on my own and it was a bold decision according to me :D

So I looked for some deals for flights to and fro and since we were travelling with a child we skipped budget airlines like Tiger Airways. The next best deal was with Indigo and to and fro for 3 of us it came to 45k approximately, in spite of booking it almost 30 days before the trip !

Next comes the hotel booking, the most challenging one. Since Singapore is a very expensive city we either had to compromise and go for budget accomodation or else we should be ready to spend 1/3rd of our entire budget on accomodation !! I was too confused so after selecting 3 hotels - 2 budget and one 4 star, hubby gave green signal to go ahead with the 4 star one. This is the best decision we would have ever made and we realized it only during our stay. Will share details in the coming posts. We decided to go ahead with Albert Court by Far East Hospitality in Bugis which was an amazing location. Just few kms away from Little India and Bugis, a shopping hub ! Yay ! The cheapest deal available was on Ibibo and we booked a room that came with break fast and free wi-fi. For 6 nights and 7 days the cost was 75 K. Phew ! But I repeat again that was the best decision made EVER :D

Since I had already decided on the places to visit all that was left was to schedule which place to visit on which days. For Eg - Sentosa tickets were expensive on weekends so we had to schedule it for weekdays and we planned to do shopping and city tour during the weekends. This way we saved on our entry tickets to various places which was again very expensive !

All was well planned and we were ready 1 day before the actual date of departure. Trip Advisor played a major role in deciding the hotel and places to be seen.

Wait for the next post on our flight journey and Day 1 experience along with few pics too :)

♥ Aarthi ♥

Reading, Writing and a Cup Of Coffee

I keep changing my routine as I can't do anything in the same pattern, same way for more than 6 months time. Well, 6 months is the maximum time I can hold on to. Though I am a full time mom and a part time blogger I follow a schedule/routine for myself and I like to work that way. So, often I change my routine to make my work more interesting. Here, by work I mean everything I do in a day - cooking, managing the kid, dropping her and picking up her from school, gardening, writing, reading, shopping, cleaning the house, re arranging things and so on. 

As a recent addition to my routine I have started reading again which I am resuming after full 3 years !! As the little one grew, she does keep herself occupied for some time and I take that time to go through a nice novel or it might be even flipping the pages of a magazine. Having a little of 'my' time does give a lot of happiness and satisfaction and that little break keeps me going for the rest of the day.

Neither hubby nor my daughter would be happy to see me having a dull or sad face. This 'Me' time helps me a lot in having a happy face all day. Very recently I found a comfortable place on my dining where I sit with my laptop and a cup of coffee every evening. The window by the side gives a great view of all greenery and faint sounds of birds chirping adds more fun to the 'Me' time. I approximately spend some 1 hr here, say from 3.30-4.30 PM, which is all I need before I gear up the energy to tackle the kid who would wake up anytime with full energy and craves for some great physical activity. I am glad this recent change in my routine [in the past I would just bury myself in the bed or will be slouching in a couch !] has helped me be more active and energetic, which makes my daughter and myself so happy.

Wondering what is my point here?

Well, just find some time for yourself and don't have the same routine for a very long time. Minor adjustments to your routine can change your life totally. Try working out or even just a walk in the evening would help, try gardening or at least buy few saplings and water them everyday. Just do anything that would interest you and do some little things just for 'yourself'. Just give it a try ! Have a 'Me' time.

For me Reading, Writing and a Cup of Coffee is my 'Me' time :D

♥ Aarthi ♥

People Change & So Do Their Preferences !!!!

I really don't want to write the same old story about how I missed being here and promises [fake] on how I will be regular here after.. Shame on Me !! But.. Still.. I just feel like saying a small secret whisper - 'Miss You' to this little space.. my Utopia :(

I am really surprised to see some obvious changes in me as I grow old - be it good or bad it just happens and we live like that - with changes within us or even around us ! When it happens to people around us, sometimes it becomes a bit hard to accept it. Have you ever felt it ? I am going through one right now.

One of my best friend who always loved me more than I did and who always said that irrespective of how I am she would still be the same to me, changed overnight ! Or might be the change happened gradually but I just didn't realize it :p We have always been there for each other and there were no secrets between us. If you know me you would know her too and vice versa ! But what got in the change? Her financial growth ? The people around her? The society she is exposed to? I don't have an answer !

I had all the rights on her and it even extended to her close circle until one day this random 'X' came into her life. We both felt that her life without this 'X' would have been much much better as it was truly like a pain in the ass [PITA]! It was always there, how much ever she tried to get rid of it. One random day (say after an year or so) we ended up talking about 'X' and I was surprised to see her opinion towards that PITA had changed completely. Knowing about 'X' [all from her] I couldn't stand it when people change their mind so often ! We got in to an argument on how she can't go praising all of a sudden about 'X' and how can she forget how X = PITA a while ago !! For all my doubts, anger, frustration, curiosity and confusion her only answer was - 'It is better you don't talk about 'X' any more '! Gosh ! I was taken aback... Because I had all rights to talk about her, her mom, her dog and every single living thing around her but not 'X' !! 

It was a total shock initially but now, after a couple of months, I learnt how to handle this. I just ignored everything that happened and I had to accept the fact that 'People Change And So Do Their Preferences' !!

 I feel so much better and light when I started accepting the change :D

The Hangover !

No, this is not a movie review and I never intend to do one ! Now read further ..

Well, it is not about the movie Hangover but some one in the movie. Will get back to this point again.

Did you watch the movie Colombiana? If Yes do you remember Cataleya Restrepo? Ya that is the name of the lead role done by this amazing actress Zoe Saldana. I was so impressed with her character and the way it was planned and developed that if I had another daughter I would have named her 'Cataleya'. Hope my hubby is not reading this but he wouldn't be surprised as I would have watched this movie a 100 times so far ! Well coming to the naming part - not that I want my daughter to be a killer ;) but as bold and clever as Cataleya ! I totally admire her acting and loved her until yesterday..

Now I am going back, quoting the lines above..

Well, it is not about the movie but some one in the movie...

Yes it is about Bradley Cooper ! Man he is sooooooooo hawwwwwwwwwwwt.. Oops can I say that? Absolutely ! I knew there was Bradly Cooper and I knew this guy in 'The Hangover' is hawwwt but never knew they were the same. Dumb Me :( I remember working with someone at Mc Donalds, Australia who is a look-alike of Bradley Cooper, Gosh ! What was I doing then .. Sigh ! After a long time I am going crazy about some Hollywood star and I did google a bit to find about his movies...

Now comes the link between both the paragraphs above..

Wikipedia says he is in a on and off relationship with Zoe Saldana... Ya Ya the Cataleya ! Sob Sob.. Am I reacting like a teenager.. Well I don't mind coz I am one ;) So I decided.. No more kids and no naming as Cataleya.. Decided !

Durai Raj [hubby] is my all time hero ! Neya [daughter] sounds better than Cataleya !

I am out of the The Hangover now ! You have to trust me :p

After a Long Time ...

After a really really really (Ya ! I stress !) long time today I found some time for 'myself'. When I get 'that' time to get lost in 'my' Utopia I feel really fortunate and happy. A couple of months back Preeti asked me 'Aarthi your makeup blog is doing really well but don't you think you have completely abandoned your 'Utopia'? ' I couldn't reply her but I had to accept the hard truth - 'Yes I did abandon this space :(' 

Honestly, I never thought I'll go so far away from this space :( This was a place I completely enjoyed writing, sharing and of course this is my lil diary where I pen down all what I want to. Whenever I think about 'My Utopia' I always wanted to be here and never felt bored or lazy about it. So what made me come here today  is - a sweet comment from a lil friend of mine. Ipsy -You made my day ! She casually bumped into this place and fell in love with the way I write ! Ya she did ! Trust Me ! ;)

I was so happy and came back here to read all my ramblings ! It was so nice reading about myself :p Super fun I had and super happy I am. Knowing that I have a person who follows my blog and likes my crap.. well not :p I want to write more now. Hope I will [Me and My never ending promises.. sigh..]

Happy Me ! Love All !

Tamil Movie Villains !!!

It has been more than a year since I came here and registered [shared] anything. My kid is 1 year already and no wonder time just flew away !! When I read all the previous posts everything seems like a dream. Well let me come straight to the point and share what I feel about the recent villains in Tamil Cinema.

Yesterday I got free tickets for the movie 'Vettai' starring Madhavan, Arya, Amla Paul and Sameera. The casting was so interesting that I didn't want to miss the chance. The movie was 'okay' types and I did enjoy the comedy here and there. There was something that was annoying me ever since the movie started and that was the non-tamil speaking villain with a very bad lip sync. Gosh it was intolerable. Not just in this movie but it started long back [remember movie Dhill?] and the worst part is all villains have the same person doing the dubbing !! 

Since they don't know the language, their body language seems so kiddish. For eg - If the villain says 'Jump down from the tall tower' , he literally raises his hand up [with so much extra effort] and swings it down to enact the above lines. This is so kiddish and makes us feel like we are watching some school kids drama.

Also the villains have very few dialogues and more threatening noises [which is annoying again] like.. Eeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... etc Glad my daughter didn't accompany us, else she would have started imitating all these sounds !! 

There are so many good Tamil speaking villains whom the directors can opt for or at least they can train them properly for the lip sync so that it does not become very irritating by the end of the movie. I so wanted the villain to die [poor guy] so that I need not get annoyed often. Also the villains need not perform a mini dance raising their hands and legs up in the place of simple acting. 

I feel I would have enjoyed the movie much better if there was a Tamil speaking villain in the Tamil movie Vettai.

Few Updates

Hi All,

I have enjoyed each and every minute here in my blog space along with your encouragement and support. I like to thank all of you here who have enjoyed this space as much as I did and also for your awesome response and valid suggestions. Thank you :)

I wanted to update few things here and they are

1.Wish you and your family and very happy and prosperous Diwali :) Wish this Diwali brings you all luck and all that you have wished for :)

2.As most of you know I am expecting my first kid any time soon. This 10th is my due date and God only knows when I'll get the labour pain. So after my delivery I am not sure when I can be back here. So till then I request you all to hold back and wait for sometime. Thank you.

3.As blogrolling has ceased their operation I have removed the widget from my blog. Though I remember most of your blog links I might miss few of your links. So kindly apologize and please mail me your blog links to desirenzeal@gmail.com.

Till we catch up again, Love you all and Take Care :)

The Cute Lil Feel

Towards the end of my pregnancy !!!!!! Really excited to share all those wonderful moments [last few months].

When it started it was very simple and normal. As it was just 3 months after my marriage, it was too quick when I came to know that I am carrying. Got an appointment with my doctor and nothing struck me until I was lying down for my first scan. When I was peeping at the screen all I expected to see is an oval egg shaped image. [I thought it is too early to expect any human shaped figure] To my surprise what I saw was really really a tiny figure with a big head and not so proportionate body. I couldn't believe my eyes !!!!! I didnt expect this at all... and I had gone all alone for the scan. I couldn't control my tears and I think the Doc guessed it and asked "Is this your first child?" I said "Yes" showing all my teeth.

As soon as the scanning was over, I rushed to the loo and cried for few mins. My happiness knew no bounds :) The moment I felt I have a baby inside me.... Gosh.... I tell you the best feeling anyone could ever get. [I really pity all guys for not having this option of having a kid ;)] Holding my tummy and embracing it I could not stop my tears for a while. I was glad that neither mum nor my hubby was around, else I would have just bursted out and embarrassed them.

From then on I kept noting down everything new that happened to me or the kid. On our 6th month anniversary [if nothing exists of that sort then assume we created it for ourselves ;)] was the day I felt my baby moving inside me for the first time. I really wished my hubby could feel the same and yes he did the very next moment. Then it slowly grew by playing with the kid, talking, tickling and all fun followed :)

Having just 4 weeks to go !!!!!! I really couldn't believe that I have crossed 36 weeks already. Everything seems to be happening so quick and sturdy as if I am rushing for something :) Now baby doesn't have much space to play around in my tummy that it keeps pushing me on either side as if it is waiting to pop out any time.

It is really God's gift that we women get this opportunity to carry a life within us !!!!! I feel blessed. :)

Knock Knock..

I think everything has happened very quickly, as if I was rushing to finish it all. When I turn back and see my spinster days.. Gosh I miss you very badly and I know I can never get back to you :(

This does not necessarily mean that I am not happy with this married life, but it is different and new and the feeling for my spinster days is kind of nostalgic. Having a lovely husband and carrying a tiny little kid – all happened in 9 months :) I am expecting my kid by this November. I feel really fortunate and blessed and all my prayers these days are for the little angel I am carrying inside me. Once again it makes me feel proud that God made me a women who gets such an awesome feeling of motherhood :)

I was really into a new world and it took very long to get back to all of you here. I am really sorry about that and I am making it a point to continue with my passion here after. Don’t know how far I will be successful but all your support will draw me back here for sure :)

I am really happy to be here and the mere thought that I am going to do what I love makes me excited and gives me a boost. I really don’t know how to express what I feel. I missed all you guys here Preeti, CU, Jaggu, Shashi, Aashi, CM-Chap. Sorry if I have missed anyone here, each one of my visitors are special to me.

Also planning to open a new blog for my recent passion for cosmetics and make up. If you get a chance do visit me there as well. Love you all :)

Cosmetic Craze-2

I am here again after a while as a to-be ‘Makeup Addict’ !!!!!!!!

As a sequel of my previous blog here are the updates related to my cosmetic craze ;)

I have become a member of the IMBB – Indian Makeup and Beauty Blog where I have started blogging about beauty products that I have been using and letting people know my views on the product :) I am still in the initial phase of “Detailed Reading along with Craving” -trust me. Though initially my plan was to purchase products worth Rs.3000, I ended up spending Rs.1100. Not bad right ???? I have not even crossed half of what I had planned, so I told myself- “Good, You are still under control”

Today I am here to put up a shot note on a International Give Away Sale on IMBB !!!! All girls are so excited as this is an International Give Away of beauty products. I am so excited jumping [not literally as I have my baby sleeping inside me – another happy news to share with you guys. This needs a separate post, so will write one soon.] This sale is to celebrate that we have reached 500 blogs in just 9 months time and I think it is worth this big celebration !!!

All girls here, do visit the link below and try grabbing those awesome stuff listed there.

All guys here, do tell your wife, daughter, friends, girl friends and I am sure they’ll be excited too. Who would like to miss such a chance of getting awesome brands in their pockets without spending even a penny?

The link : The International Give Away on IMBB

I think I am making the competition more tough, adding more competitors, but still hoping for a small luck to favor me : ) Wish me good luck and do visit the blog.

You can also see my blogroll and click on ‘Makeup and Beauty’ to visit the blog whenever you would like to :)

Cosmetic Craze

Having no work I was just ‘googling’, I actually don’t remember what I was looking for.. [These days I even forget my husband’s face!!! lol ;) Sorry Raj. I pity myself for my bad memory] Anyways I was just rambling and I ended up reading two ‘beauty and cosmetics’ blog, one stumbled upon by myself and on discussing about it with my friend she suggested the other one, helping me to kill more time.

Initially [or just 2 days back] I was shocked and confused thinking...
1.How can anyone buy / afford to buy so many cosmetics?
I’ll say they would have at least 20-25 lip gloss, 10 foundations, 30 moisturizers, 50 brushes, 30 eye and lip liners, 10 shampoos and conditioners and list goes on and on and on.
2.How can anyone try so many products and yet not spoil their skin and hair?
3.They have been doing this for years and still have not lost interest!!!!
4.How their husbands don’t complain about their cosmetic craze!!!!!

The above few are just samples [I really cant list all of those silly questions here]

It started with a shock in my face and I ended up as an addict :( I’ll blame my superiors for not assigning me work and hence this still continues though I dont want to…

My Stages of Development:

2 days back -> Yesterday -> Today :(
Just Looking ->Brief Reading ->Detailed Reading along with craving :(

Now I ended up listing a few things. Yesterday there were just 4 products in my list [costing approximately Rs.2500] and today it is 6 [might be Rs.3000]. This is not in my budget for the month but given another few days I might buy at least 2 of them. [My mind voice: Guys please distract me or just give me some work]. Then I thought of my blogs and here I am.

Hi all !!!!!! Have fun :)

P.S : Im a girl wearing just a lip gloss and kajal everyday and even during any occassion.

Face the(of) Horror

I still remember the times I’d mention to my friends saying,

“Oh please don’t take your mustache, it might not be in trend but it is very unpleasant to see a guy without it. Actually I’d say mustache reflects a guy's manliness.”

This would have happened approximately 3-4 years back and till then I was pretty sure that I’d get married to a guy only if he had a mustache [I cant believe I said that !!!!!] Aarthi you were soo.. sooo.. I dono.. absurd.. nope it is not the perfect word. I still remember guys teasing me

“Your husband will have a muruku meesa [big curled mustache] for sure.”

Fortunately after 3 years I found this guy completely shaved [not his head though] and I still liked him.

This guy has gone completely insane in the past few weeks. He is growing his mustache vigorously. Vigor is not in the growth [poor hubby] but only in his intention. He accepts it is not very comfortable to have it and he has no reason for growing it, might be my objection drives him the most ;)

It has already been a month and all his friends and colleagues are teasing, pleading, shouting at him to change this new avatar as he looks like an uncle and not a 'just-married' guy. In between there are also sympathizing mails, chat and conversations and supportive words to encourage me to face this terror everyday without taking any shock.

The pathetic thing is sometimes I don’t even recognize him when I see him at a distance or when he crosses me and I get to have a glance for a second.

I just say to myself “Oh someone new is around” .
I was glad to know that this is definitely not an abnormality within me but even couple of his friends have shared the same experience with me.

I’ve been trying my level best to post his pic here with the new mustache but all in vain.

So guys pray for this co-blogger to have a strong and healthy heart for a considerable period of time.

Soon you can see the ‘Before’ and ‘After’ pics of him and you all will get a chance to vote your choice. So be prepared to cast your vote and remember guys I’m your co-blogger. It should keep ringing in your ears while you vote. ;)

Coming Soon….

I'm Alive

To continue with where I stopped, my birthday went really well, would say this was one of my best birthdays ever!!!!

The last time I blogged [April 14th] think was the last time I was really upset, after which everything till now is smooth and fine. Love u blogosphere.. :) and pity you people who read all my emotional crap and still ask me to blog more. I appreciate your guts ;) and love you all a lot.

Though I am not very comfortable to sit next to my boss and blog, I thought I should at least start now and finish it whenever I get some time at home. Thanks to all the servers that are down and developers who are still on their way to work till which I can spend some time in this utopia. Trust me I am really happy to be here after a long while.

This period of time- April to Jan had taught me a lot, I really mean a looooooooot. Every one of us would have heard a million times about it but only when we experience it we get the true essence and we realize it completely.

I am talking about marriage, life partner, the new life, etc. I had to face this terrifying ‘M’ factor on December 6th of last year and I really did face it with a big smile. I had to admit that it is one of the main reasons for me to stay away from this world, my space – utopia. Almost back on routine – it is still ‘almost’ coz I haven’t started blogging with my old hyper ethusiastic mood or whatever you call it yet :( things are very new, fresh, sometimes weird, thrilling, adventurous and challenging too.

1.No more lazy nap at mum’s place.
2.Responsibilities
3.Adjustments
4.Late night outings [Honestly I saw the outside world after 10 p.m only after my marriage]
5.Plastic smiles at everyone I see.

Things that have not changed

1.More number of elders to advice us [OMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Yes I know I should be responsible. Yes I know I should be patient enough. But I’ve heard this a million times already so…excuse me I don’t need one Plssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss]

2.Still working in the same place with no change in spite of the tip they give me for my work. [Btw I just get a tip and no salary- anyone who knows my condition would agree to it ;( ]

3.My longing for blogging. Yes it never dies.

So all people out there have a great year ahead. Let me wish you all for.. ummm...
Ya.. starting from this year 2010
1.Happy New Year
2.Happy Birthday
3.Happy Sankranthi
4.Happy Anniversary
5.Happy break ups
6.Happy reunions

Did I miss something????

Happy Blogging :)