Saturday, September 6, 2008

I Miss Her....

Separation shatters me down…

First it was my sis....

When she rang up and said “Hey I’ll be coming to India and be staying there for 2 months” I was like “What the Hell…Why such a long stay?” …but now it seems like ‘just’ 2 months…:( Already all the fun, joy, laughs vanished and the house is empty again without her. Can you even believe that this was the first time I felt that I miss her!!! Though we stay together only occasionally these days…I had always felt it is better that we stay away to save the house being transformed in to a war field and all spoons and forks being turned to be the proud swords and cannons.

This time there was no much war, might be that is reason behind this ‘I miss her’ story. I really don’t know whether it is our parents who failed to build that bond between us (or) as the elder one I should have made it strong and should have been holding on to it (or) is it my misconception that she never loved me and hence I didn’t love her (or) vice-versa.

I miss her…truly…for the very first time. She said she’ll be back this December again…
Waiting for her…for her laughs and pranks to fill the house back with her noise. She doesn’t read my blog and after writing this I don’t think I’ll even let her know my blog link , though she’s my sis I think I feel a bit odd or even shy to say ‘I Love You’ to her.

During this wait for my sis, the next separation happened…

It was followed by Gaagi…

She was a colleague, then friend now I could say my mother…

Gaagiiiiiii” I used to drag her name and she’ll know I’m going to ask her for something…
Ya tell me…What is it now?”
Can you get me my brush and paste pleaseeeeeee
Gaagiiiiiii water pleaseeeeeee
Gaagiiiiiiiiii can you feed me pleaseeeeeee
Gaagiiiiiiiiiiiii tell me some bed time stories pleaseeeeee
"Gaagiiiiii tell me do I look fat in this dress for one last time" [I would ask that for the 100th time...]

I absolutely become her child and this list goes on & on & on & on…

She left home for a weeks time. It is not even a day since she left and I already feel completely lonely. Technology transmits sound, images, etc across borders, I think the next should be the sense of touch…I really don’t know how I slept yesterday without her pat. This is so terrible and for the first time I wish I had work even on weekends.

Separation, be it temporary or permanent is the most unbearable thing according to me.